Tuesday, May 24, 2005


Darwin Was Wrong

Chimpanzees do not select the least intelligent and most hapless of the group to be their leader. They do not passively tolerate his ruining their standard of living and their environment. They do not mindlessly follow him off on a bloody crusade just because he spins fanciful yarns about bananas of mass destruction. Chimps are too smart to fall for such transparent nonsense.

When a gorilla goes around ignorantly grabbing the breasts of the lady gorillas, he does not subsequently win a special election to become Top Regional Ape, especially when none of the rest can understand what the hell he is trying to say. A gorilla who treats females with contempt incurs the wrath of the community and gets bitten and hit prior to being launched headfirst into a pile of hippo poop, which is exactly as it should be.

For the rest of this article, click here.
Although Steven J. Gould would probably object to the unscientific observation and conclusion, he would appreciate the satire. He did criticize Delhard de Chardin for filing down an ape jaw to prove humans evoluted in England. De Chardin might venture that there is an severe divergence in existential evolution with liberals reaching to the heavens. For example, an enlightened individual would allow Susan Truit, Bob Fritrakis and Cliff Arnebeck a public forum, while Sean Hannity only curses the darkness.
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